Most divorces are bound to have a certain amount of conflict. Although that can be stressful to think about and anticipate, you might find yourself overwhelmed if your spouse is a liar who will say whatever they can to get what they want.
To avoid dealing with your lying spouse, you might be tempted to resolve your divorce as quickly as possible. But moving too quickly through your marriage dissolution could leave you with unfavorable outcomes, particularly those pertaining to your finances and your children.
Therefore, if you want to get the most out of your divorce, you’re going to have to be willing to deal with your spouse. Although that might leave you on edge, there are some things that you can do to hopefully make the process a little easier.
Tips for divorcing a spouse who lies all the time
No two divorces are the same. So, there’s no cookie-cutter approach to dealing with your lying spouse. However, the following tips will hopefully give you some guidance so that you can develop a divorce strategy that makes sense for you:
- Find a less contentious way to communicate: Face-to-face communications can quickly spiral out of control, especially when you and your spouse fight over facts that your spouse is never going to acknowledge. You might make your life and your divorce easier, then, if you can find a less conflictual mode of communication, such as text message or email. Your attorney can prove helpful here, too, as they can present your position on your behalf and filter any emotional responses that might be received. Be sure to educate yourself on effective communication strategies for your divorce, too, as they can help minimize conflict and help you get to whatever issue might be at hand.
- Wrap your position in the facts: One of the best ways to deal with a lying spouse is to contradict them with hard and easily provable facts. So, before you head into negotiations in your case, you should gain a full understanding of the facts at hand in your case so that you know where you can push back against your spouse’s claims.
- Try to understand the “why”: There’s a reason why your spouse can’t seem to tell the truth. If you try to understand their behavior, then you might find it easier to interact with them. So, consider whether your spouse is lying as a coping mechanism, whether their falsehoods are their way of getting back at you, or whether they’re developing a mental health condition. If so, then you might take comfort in knowing that there’s something that you might be able to work through to get to strong resolutions.
- Stand strong: Even though you might want to concede on some legal issues as a way to quiet your spouse for a minute, you should try to avoid doing so if it’s a matter that’s important to you. After all, caving in could encourage your spouse to continue their lying and manipulative behavior. So, be careful and strategic in deciding where you want to give during your negotiations.
Take control of your divorce
When your spouse lies all the time, you can feel like things are quickly spinning out of your control and that your spouse has the ability to shape the narrative around your divorce. But you don’t have to let it get to that point. Instead, you can diligently build a legal strategy that puts you on the offensive or, at the very least, prevents you from being on the defensive throughout the entire process.
In order to get in that position, you’ll need a firm understanding of the law, negotiations, and how the divorce process typically plays out. That’s why you might find it beneficial to learn as much as you can about the marriage dissolution process by reading up on it and speaking to those who are familiar with it.